From my years of studying and living this lifestyle, I can tell you that the desire of a man to submit to a woman is not perverted. As a matter of fact, it is very common among men. I believe it is the number one sexual desire among men living in our society. Perversion is defined as that which is outside the sexual normal. Domination and submission is very much within the normal of people's sexual desires. What women must keep in mind about Female Domination is the fact that men need it. It is almost always the man who will introduce the female domination lifestyle to the woman.
A courageous man with submissive desires introduces female domination to his female partner. Why do men do this? It's because men desire and need to be in submission to women. No matter how hard society or religion tries to tell men differently, something deep inside of them yearns to surrender to a powerful woman. These desires grow stronger with age and men will spend countless hours dreaming and fantasizing about Female Domination. Men will pursue these desires and struggle with these desires trying to come to terms with them but sadly a man will not come to terms with these desires until he truly has a relationship with a woman that can explore these desires with him in a loving manner.
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The other side of this dynamic is that women who embrace the dominant role and who allow their dominant nature to come out, end up absolutely loving this lifestyle. It never ceases to amaze me how many women who once were real hesitant about being dominant, end up loving it so much that they later say that they would never go back to being in submission to a man or only having vanilla sex intercourse with a man.
This lifestyle is liberating to women and it is also liberating for men as they can now fulfill that yearning within them. Most of these couples keep it private but I can testily from the number of letters I receive that Female Domination is on the rise in our society. It may not enjoy a plurality yet but one only needs to look at the trends and the societal evolution that is taking place to see what is transpiring. As women continue to become dominant in college, in business and in politics, more women will naturally take the dominant role in their marriages and relationships.
This is great news for the submissive male. A female domination relationship can take on many forms. Some women are Female Supremacists, while other women see themselves as Feminists and others see themselves as equals with men but with the belief that the wife needs to lead the husband. The most important thing is that each couple must keep the lines of communication open, as honesty and openness are crucial in a female domination relationship.
A woman needs to be open minded to explore new things as her submissive shares with her his deepest desires. It is all about negotiation and fulfillment. I ask women, what touches his submissive nature? Does he have a leather fetish? If so, then wear some leather. Does he have a foot or a boot fetish? Does he crave whippings or spankings? Does he enjoy the helpless feeling of being in bondage? I tell women to find out what stirs her man's submission and then do these things to him. The man seduces the female's dominant nature with his submissive nature.
She then begins to draw out more of his submissive nature with her dominant nature, which draws out even 26 Introduction more of her dominance, which draws out more of his submission, and so on and so on. The Female's dominance feeds off of the man's submission and his submission feeds off of her dominance. The one needs the other to thrive and to grow. It is similar to how the plant world and the animal world function with the plants giving us the oxygen we need and we in return give the plants the carbon dioxide they need. As we breathe in their gift we give them our gift as we exhale.
So goes it with Dominance and submission. The female gives the male what he needs by dominating him and the male gives her his gift by submitting to her and treating her like his Queen. Most women would love to have a husband that loves, honors, worships, and obeys her.
Young girls dream about a Prince who comes along and treats her like a Queen. What woman wouldn't want a man that would focus his energy and his attention on her all of the time? A man that would pamper her, give her foot and body massages, and who would get more pleasure out of pleasuring her than receiving pleasure himself. How about a man that would do whatever she told him to do, without arguing or complaining? A man that would not only do all of his chores like cutting the grass and washing the cars, but would also do housework, the laundry, the grocery shopping, and even the cooking.
How about a man that would wine and dine her and shower her with gifts? What woman would not want a man that would love her with all of his heart and who would view her as his earthly Goddess? The dominant female lives this dream because she has learned how to motivate her man to serve her needs by meeting his need to be dominated. That is the beauty of the Female Domination lifestyle. The common denominator is that the woman is the dominant partner but as you will see, Female Domination can be expressed in many forms.
It is that male desire for loving female authority that ultimately empowers women, one relationship at a time. Henry was a successful forty something businessman who had been married for fifteen years to his wife, Doris. He was a typical client of mine, a married man with a secret that he never shared with the woman who was the love of his life. Like a lot of men, Henry harbored a deep desire to be sexually dominated by a woman. As Henry nervously fumbled through his confession to me, I could almost predict what he was going to say next.
I had heard it all before from dozens of other men. Henry recalled having submissive fantasies since he was a teenager. Whenever he saw a woman wearing leather or portraying any kind of dominant image in a magazine or a book, he would become weak as if he were being tied down without any actual ropes. Stories about older women who seduced and sexually dominated younger men especially aroused him. He also was drawn to pictures of leather wearing and whip wielding women, who collared men and placed them in bondage. Before he knew it, only pornography that dealt with women dominating men excited Henry.
He would buy a Penthouse magazine and skim the letters in the front, looking for ones that were about a wife dominating her husband or an older woman dominating a younger man. Then he would fantasize and masturbate with the thought of him being the dominated husband or the dominated younger man. Eventually he discovered magazines that openly catered to the male fantasy of women dominating men. Henry did not like viewing pornographic material. He was raised in a conservative, middle class family, he was active in his church, he had loving parents, and he was never sexually or emotionally abused.
Henry had a very healthy relationship with his mother and was taught to treat women with respect. Henry was also taught that pornography was morally wrong and should be avoided. However, no matter how hard he tried to suppress his submissive fantasies, they kept coming back on him. He could not overcome his desire to be sexually dominated by a woman. Pornography was an outlet where Henry could turn to engage his submissive desires. These submissive desires would come upon Henry out of left field, when he least expected them.
All it would take was a scene of a dominant woman in a movie or a television program and his submissive desires would come over him and dominate his thoughts.
Henry struggled with these desires his entire adult life. He dated and eventually met the love of his life, Doris. He never told a soul about his secret desires or his pornography habit. He tried his best to suppress these desires and live the kind of life that society expected out of him.
Outwardly, he was the so- called head of his marriage although his wife made most of the decisions because Henry usually yielded to her wishes. Henry loved Doris and he wished he could be in submission to her but he dared not tell her of his secret desires because he was afraid of being rejected by her and becoming a societal outcast. There is a scene where this woman places one of her clients in bondage and whips him. Henry was not expecting this but that is all it took to send Henry deep into submission and back to wandering through Adult bookstores in the dark of night, searching for some magazines with images and stories about Female Domination.
Henry felt powerless to resist whenever this desire to be in submission to a woman would come upon him. It was a magazine dedicated to the professional Dominatrix. It was page after page of women advertising their services of professional Domination. Henry lived eighty miles from a major city where a half dozen or so professional Dorns advertised in DDI.
Henry decided that he needed for his fantasy to become a reality. Henry contacted some of these women from DDI and after backing out a number of times due to being nervous, Henry finally visited his first Pro Dom in He battled guilt, as he did not want to be unfaithful to his wife.
However, the Pro Dom he chose reassured him that no sex would occur as she was only offering domination. Henry could not resist any longer. He had to experience what it would be like to be dominated by a woman. Henry visited an attractive and reputable Dominatrix whom he met through her ad in DDI. She had him fill out an in-depth questionnaire to specify exactly what his fetish and submissive desires were. Henry did not know precisely what he wanted but he did know that images of leather-clad women with whips excited him and he wanted to be helpless in the presence of a woman.
Henry also had a leather fetish and a boot fetish. Henry figured that he would feel less guilty if he did not have an orgasm in the presence of another woman. Henry described his first session as being exciting but not completely fulfilling.
The session with the Pro Dom was exciting enough that Henry desired another one a few months later. With each session, Henry became more comfortable being dominated by a woman and before he knew it, he was seeing a Dominatrix about six times a year. Henry eventually discovered my ad, which offered more than just traditional domination. I also offered counseling. Ryan is such a man. In this film, there is a scene where the Peter Sellers character investigates a crime that takes him to an oriental brothel. He is mistaken for a cross-dresser so the owner of the establishment thinks she knows what the good detective desires sexually.
She summons for the house Dominatrix and the next scene is a humorous scene where the Dominatrix is trying to whip the naive French Detective. The scene lasts for less than a minute but it triggered something within Ryan. Ryan never heard of a Dominatrix before but seeing this quick image of a leather-clad woman wielding a whip caused him to become excited and overcome with a submissive feeling. Like Henry, this feeling came over Ryan out of left field and consumed his thoughts and forever changed his sexuality. Scott describes a similar experience. In this film there is a scene where the high school boys pretend to be adults and solicit favors at a local brothel.
In what is meant to be a humorous scene, the one unsuspecting lad still a virgin ends up with a beautiful blonde 31 Female Domination woman who wants to make his first time unforgettable. She binds him in an upright position against a device known as a Catherine's Wheel. The next scene shows the young male running for his life as the Dominatrix chases after him, cracking her bull whip. Once again, just a harmless scene in a silly movie meant to be comical but to a young man like Scott, it was a life changing experience.
Scott experienced a sexual arousal he had never felt before and from that day forward, all of his sexual fantasies involved Dominant women. Scott would visit a dozen Professional Dominatrixes over the next couple of years. As with Ryan and Scott, Steve was merely watching a mainstream comedy, not expecting to become aroused, when out of left field a scene involving a leather clad, whip wielding, dominant woman came upon the screen and caused Steve to experience an intense sexual arousal, unlike anything he had ever felt in his life.
Steve could not shake what he felt and would spend the rest of his teenage years reading and fantasizing about Female Domination, which lead to a life of visiting Professional Dominant women and calling up Phone Domination services. In this scene, the James Belushi character meets an attractive, girl next-door type in a bar.
She seems very sweet. He escorts her home and she invites him into her house. She knocks him out and he wakes up in bondage. This sweet woman is dressed in leather and she begins to verbally dominate him, she whips him and she shocks him with electricity. He resists in his male macho ways but she breaks him down and the movie cuts to a scene where he is confessing to her his inner most secrets while she is lovingly stroking his face. The next scene shows them in bed after having sex.
After all, it was intended to be a comedy and the scene was meant to be funny. This scene was powerful because the woman represented loving female authority to these men. She was sweet and kind in public, but a real Bitch at home. Again, a short scene in a movie but to the submissive male like Steve, it triggered his desires and touched him at his core nature. The reason FemDom stories, pictures and scenes in movies shake men at their core is because they touch men at their core. Their submissive nature becomes unleashed. It was there all the time but they never knew it was there until they discovered the world of Female Domination.
Female Domination did not invade their brains through pop culture, literature or the media. No, their submissive desires were there all the time but those desires needed to be freed. The analogy I like to use is as follows. A man could have a million dollars in his bank account, but if he did not know the money was there, he would never spend it. He would live his life thinking he was poor when in fact he was rich the entire time. Then if one day out of the blue, someone contacted him and said, "Hey, you have a million dollars in your back account", a light would come on and he would get excited and he would go and use that money.
Did that money come out of left field and invade his bank account? No, it was there all the time but he needed a revelation that it was there. That is what happens concerning Female Domination. Then out of the blue, he comes across literature about Female Domination or a scene in a movie that portrays Female Domination, and that submissive nature comes alive. Now it will dominate his thoughts but not from without but from within. It is perfectly natural for a man to desire to submit to the female gender.
Once he has that revelation, that revelation frees his submissive nature and brings it to the forefront of his thoughts and desires. It happens to men over and over again. Most of the time it happens when a male comes into puberty or is a teenager or when he becomes a young adult. But it also happens later in life in some males because they have not yet experienced that trigger until later in life. Alan had submissive desires as far back as he could recall.
When he was in his early twenties and had his first apartment, he would be overcome with the desire to be dominated by a woman usually triggered by film, television or literature. Alan did not understand this desire but once it came upon him, he would seek out FemDom magazines or even mainstream magazines with dominant looking women. Alan would place himself in bondage and fantasize that a woman was whipping him or sexually dominating him. He would stand his mattress against the wall of his bedroom, tie himself up against the mattress leaving one hand free , and he would gaze upon the pictures of the magazines that he had cut out and taped to his bedroom wall.
Alan would then slap his erect penis over and over with his free hand, pretending that it was the woman from the picture who was slapping him. Kevin is a financial advisor. He is successful, handsome and happily married. He confessed to me that when he was an adolescent, a picture of a sexy woman in a magazine would make him feel submissive. Kevin did not desire to have sex with her but rather he wanted her to dominate him.
Where did this desire originate from? He had loving parents who never abused him. It was as if he was bom with this desire. Phillip is a teacher and he recalls similar experiences in his childhood. He fucked himself pretending that it was the beautiful Playboy model that was dominating him. Phillip was only ten years old at the time. James had a reoccurring dream when he was only six or seven years old. In this dream, Peter Pan was a redheaded female and she would come to his room, take him by the hand, fly him up into the clouds and lay him in 34 The Submissive Nature of Man this pink cloud made of a sticky Jello-like substance.
In his dream, James would struggle to get free but he could not move.
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The female Peter Pan would stare at him and enjoy watching her male captive struggle until he eventually surrendered to her. James was only a child but even as a child, he desired to be dominated by a woman. He did not seek this out. He had never viewed pornography or read any FemDom literature. He was an innocent boy, yet the desire to submit to the female gender was birthed within him and found its expressions through this dream. Peter Pan was played many times by women on both television and the stage. Sandy Duncan played Peter Pan for years.
Red hair represents dominance, as many redheaded women are aggressive and feisty. The cloud represents a state of subspace. The color of the cloud, pink, represents the feminine. The Jello substance represents bondage and fetishism. James knew of none of these things as a child yet he had this reoccurring dream. James recalled another dream he had as a child. In this dream, he was a patient in a hospital bed and this redheaded nurse came to him and removed all of her clothes.
She then climbed on top of him and sat her bare bottom on his face. He could not move and he struggled to get free but to no avail. He finally surrendered to her and he felt at peace. James is a spiritual man who grew up in a Christian home. Later in life he married a Christian woman who had an out-going personality. He confessed to her about his submissive desires and after struggling with the concept of Female Domination, she finally embraced the lifestyle and took control over James and her marriage.
Her name is Kathy and she is a redhead. She also once played Peter Pan in a school play and she now works as a nurse. A coincidence? Perhaps but Kathy and James like to think that Female Domination was their destiny. Jeremy experienced this when his submissive nature was triggered from reading an article in an Adult magazine. Jeremy explains. It was a story about a 35 Female Domination masochistic man that was tortured and dominated by a wealthy sadistic woman. This story contained some very intense and vivid details about how this woman whipped and abused this man.
She had a sound proof room where most of this took place. When I read this story, something went off on the inside of me and from that moment, I became obsessed with female domination and sadistic women. The thing that I found the most bizarre yet exciting in the Kalmann Diaries was how this woman trained this man to be her human toilet. The description was so disturbing and yet so sensual and exciting. Like I said, she was very sadistic and this excited me to no end.
My life took a most unusual turn from that day. I was studying to be a computer programmer in college but I never finished getting my degree. I became so obsessed with female domination and the subject of sadistic women that my schoolwork and my social life suffered.
Full text of "Female Domination"
I purchased every magazine and book on the subject that I could find. I was use to buying an occasional Penthouse or Club magazine for around 3 dollars a piece but now I was buying 8 and 9 dollar fetish and female domination magazines by the score. I bought videos and 8mm movies and I roamed from adult bookstores to old paperback exchange bookstores looking for any kind of books about sadistic women dominating men.
The more I read, the more my appetite grew for female domination. I spent days upon days and weeks upon weeks fantasizing about being a masochistic male to a sadistic woman. I went through my entire savings that my father had given me for my education. Once I was broke, I wrote some computer software and sold them for income.
I worked as little as possible to live and to finance my obsessive habit of indulging in female domination.
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Most of my time was spent searching for literature about female domination and seeking out the sadistic woman of my dreams. I met some interesting people and had a few wild encounters but I still had not found my dream woman. It was from a woman and all it said was something like, "Sadistic girl seeks sincere male to torture". I had answered similar ads before but they usually were just a professional Dominatrix trying to add to her clientele. This time, however, was different. After some letter writing and one very long phone call, I met this woman at a public bar.
Her voice sounded so sweet and innocent on the phone so I didn't think this woman was as at all as she had advertised. When she came over and sat down at my table in that bar that night, I thought I would faint right there. She was beautiful and very dominant. She was the very fulfillment of my fantasies. In fact, the reality was the opposite and left Jeremy feeling empty and totally unfulfilled. I wept and I shook and I just about had a total breakdown. I had no idea what day it was.
I had stripes, welts, and deep bruises on my body from her whippings. I was ill to my stomach from the IBS and it would take me weeks to get my digestive system and bowels back to normal. Emotionally, I was a disaster. I never considered suicide or anything like that but I felt like I had totally wasted my life.
I had thrown away my educational opportunity and wasted my money to pursue this obsession and now that I had experienced it, I was left unfulfilled and totally broken. However, Jeremy is still seeking for submissive fulfillment. He no longer wants a woman to abuse him but he does desire to find a woman who will dominate him with loving female authority.
His negative experience with the sadistic girl did not alter his desire to be in submission to a woman. Jeremy is wiser but still captivated by Female Domination. Each of these men experienced the powerful desire to submit to a female. Something happened at different times in their lives that triggered this desire and that trigger opened them up to the world of Female Domination. For some men, that trigger happened in their childhood. For 37 Female Domination others, it happened in their adolescent years or teenage years.
For some men, they did not experience such a psychological trigger until they were young adults. But somewhere and at some time, an event occurred that touched them at their core and unleashed a sexual desire to submit to women. Are these men rare? One need to only look at the growing profession of the Dominatrix to see how many males are searching for the experience of being dominated by a woman.
Today there are literally thousands of websites where women are offering to dominate men in person or over the telephone. And more are coming on-line all the time. The supply is growing because the demand is growing. There is a real societal evolution that is occurring as the male desire to be dominated by the female is increasing at a rapid rate. Men will travel great distances and spend large amounts of money to find submissive fulfillment at the hands of a dominant woman. For Adam means earth, but Eve is translated as life.
And as far as life is to be ranked above earth, so far is woman to be ranked above man. Is it sexual? Are men so captivated by the beauty of the female that they feel inferior? Sexuality does play a role. Men have feared the beauty and sexuality of women from the beginning of human history. That is why most religions have tried to cover up women and install man-made ordinances to keep women clothed conservatively. Man knows that he cannot resist the beauty of the female so the only way he can stay in control is to keep the female covered in conservative and unflattering clothing.
Be it Christian denominations that require women to wear a covering for their heads and forbids them to wear make-up or Muslim religions that require women to wear veils and dress in clothing that covers their entire bodies, religion fears the sexuality of women and places burdens on women because men cannot control their sexual thoughts and urges. Women are mysterious to men and men marvel at the beauty of the female. Women give off a sexual energy that men cannot resist. Men have beaten down women and passed laws to keep women as second-class citizens for centuries.
If women were truly the weaker sex, there would be no need to mandate their dress or forbid them the same rights as men such as the right to vote. Oppressive laws and customs to keep women in a subservient position suggest that it is not natural for women to be the submissive sex. If it were natural for men to be the dominant sex, there would be no reason for men to have oppressive laws and customs to keep women as second-class citizens. History is fdled with examples of men suppressing women in order to maintain a patriarchal society.
Yet, deep down men are fascinated by the female, they admire the female and they desire to submit to the female. What is clear is that men can only become the dominant sex by enforcing oppressive laws and customs against women. It is not natural for man to be the dominant sex if he has to put so much effort into keeping women oppressed. As these artificial laws and customs of a patriarchal society are removed, women will naturally rule.
Deep down, men realize this. Society has mistaken the softness and the gentleness of women for weakness and submission. Likewise, society has mistaken the toughness and the macho ways of men for strength. Men are only stronger physically. Women possess the real strength, which is Intellectually, Emotionally, Spiritually, and Sexually. Unfortunately, most women do not realize this due to centuries of being told they were the weaker sex. Are women the weaker sex? But it's downhill from there. The male fetus is at greater risk of miscarriage and stillbirth. Overall, more newborn males die than females 5 to 4.
Sudden infant death syndrome is one and a half times as common in boys as in girls. Mental retardation afflicts one and a half times as many boys as girls. As teenagers, boys die at twice the rate of girls. Men are 16 times as likely as women to be colorblind. Men suffer hearing loss at twice the rate of women. The male hormone testosterone is linked to elevations of LDL, the bad cholesterol, as well as declines in HDL, the good cholesterol. Men have 40 The Superior Sex fewer infection-fighting T-cells and are thought to have weaker immune systems than women.
Men have a higher death rate from pneumonia and influenza than women. By the age of 36, women outnumber men. Men ages are twice as likely as women to die of heart disease. In the United States, men are twice as likely to die from parasite-related diseases in part, some speculate, because their greater average size may offer parasites a bigger target. Stroke, cancer, diabetes, heart disease and accidents — all among the top causes of death — kill men at a higher rate than women. American men typically die almost six years before women do.
By the age of , women outnumber men eight to one. Women have better senses smell, touch, taste, and sight. Women tolerate pain the best. Pound for pound, women are in fact stronger thus men are physically stronger only because of their overall size advantage. Women have greater flexibility and endurance. Women, as a rule, eat healthier.
Women are biological superior and complex , less susceptible to certain diseases and they live longer. So much for the weaker sex. But that is biological, what about intellectual? Are women more intelligent? Studies show that the human male brain is, on average, approximately ten percent larger than the female brain.
However, certain brain areas in women contain more nerve cells. Women have a larger corpus collusum, the group of nerve fibers that connects left and right hemispheres in the brain. Researchers wanted to know if women have as much gray matter as men. It was proven that women have Men listen with only one side of their brains, while women use both, according to information on brain imaging presented in November , at the 86th Scientific Assembly and Annual Meeting of the Radiological Society of North America RSNA.
Studies show women do better in memory tests. Women have better language and communication skills. As we will see, women have more success in small businesses and women are making better managers, directors and CEO's. Women use more areas of their brain. Girls mature faster than boys, from potty training to emotional development.
As we will also discover, women 41 Female Domination have taken over higher education as many more women are graduating and getting degrees than men. Perhaps the most influential person to come to the conclusion that women are the superior gender was Dr. Ashley Montagu, who died on November 26, at the age of ninety-four. Montagu was the author of more than sixty books. Montagu wrote books on anthropology, human anatomy, intelligence, and marriage.
The fifth edition was published in and has been expanded and modernized to fortify Dr. The book argues that the female of the species is biologically, sexually, emotionally, and even intellectually superior to the male. All Categories Text With Audio. Sort by:. Views Rating Favorite Newest. Bound, Blindfolded and Used Ch. Kittens Betrayal A short "story" of a Master and his disobedient kitten. Sweetest Taboo Bound by cuffs, ready for your orders in this sweetest taboo. I Wanna Play Begging for you to play with me. Sir's First Punishment I administer my own punishment as you watch Sir. The Pole Rebekka's visit to a strip club.
Seduce Me, Master Pt. A Night at the Club Story of an intense and painful scene. Bound and Pound Easy and fun in handcuffs. Sweet Shibari A romantic night of Shibari. Rodeo Cowboy Jack's rope academy is in session. Erotic Adventure Pt. Chopsticks Rebekka's Master takes another woman. What's This Rebekka moves from her apartment.
Cuffed You're bound to like where this one goes Commands An interactive story of dominance and submission. Bedtime Story for My Pet 02 More instructions for good little submissive girls. Packing It In Daddy's Little Slut A dominant audio for all my submissives out there! Bedtime Story for My Pet 01 For good little girl submissives to listen to in bed. Let's see what happens next. Rewarding My Pet A leisurely session with my pet. The Alley My unknown fantasy you made real. Early Morning You woke me up in the early hours. Here Paul states that the church has no jurisdiction over those that are outside the church, but it does have jurisdiction over those that are members of the body of Christ.
We must also keep in mind that what we are talking about here is not simply the everyday sins that most of us commit and that are usually repented of before the day ends. All of us sin, but most who are walking in a close relationship to God are quite aware of our shortcomings and are quick to admit and confess them to God. However, I believe that when we learn of a member who is unrepentant and has laid down in their sin and has made it a lifestyle of unrepentant sin then it is the responsibility and duty of the church to attempt to lovingly restore that individual.
And in the event they are talked to and they refuse to repent and plan on continuing in their lifestyle of sin, then the church must take further action even to the point of removing the individual publically in hopes that by handing them over to Satan as Paul says, they will be eventually restored back to the body. A Bible college president once told me that a church that does not practice Biblical church discipline can hardly be considered a church. A church that only cares enough for their members only to save them on the front end and then cares nothing about the condition of their soul later on can hardly be considered a church.
In reality, this issue of church discipline IS a matter of salvation. How many folks is the church enabling into hell simply because they have a dozen reasons not to get involved in restoring its wandering lost sheep back to the fold. If we accept the oftentimes reasonable proposition that most people seek the greatest benefit for the least cost, they will seek meaning and belonging within the least change possible.
Thus, if they can go to either the Church of Meaning and Belonging, or the Church of Sacrifice for Meaning and Belonging, most people choose the former. It provides benefit for the least cost. One sure symptom that you have more personal work to do is that you want to punish others. We can go a step further, even, and remark how individualistic local church bodies have become. Local congregations do not often, in my personal experience, see themselves adequately as being part of the entire body of Christ, connected to all believers worldwide with covenant and kingdom ties to each other.
It is a recipe for unbiblical church practices and a dilution of the unity for which Christ prayed in the garden on our behalf. We were never told that these were the hallmarks of the abusive Shepherding Movement from the s, whose founders later repented of its unbiblical qualities and many abuses, and that it was repackaged. I have never seen so much damage done to so many lives, the name of God damaged, and the witness before unbelievers. Truly, we have nothing to show unbelievers when their love and goodness exceeds ours.
Yet not a single good Christian here has seen fit to even address the issues Out West has raised, even though these are exactly the abuses that must be avoided in any organization of voluntary association. What I witness the past 35 years are more is sins are no longer named from the pulpit. We now have produced a church that when you truly listen to his many feel about same sex marrisge or living out of wedlock, alcohol, gambling etc.
Sad to say many times in a three piece suit. Read Matthew Read it about a thousand times. So how do churches move into a healthy model without becoming a runaway discipline train? Are there good models to follow and implement out there? Chuck or others may have a better or more complete answer, but as a layman, I suspect that the answer begins with the multilevel process of discipline that Jesus lays out in Matt.
The hope is that the person caught in sin will repent privately either one-on-one or with a very small group of people before it has to be brought before the whole church. Those would be only the very worst cases, of which hopefully, there would be very few. I agree. When I was little we had a lady in our church who was guilty of a particular sin. He finally brought her before the deacons, and she repented. Thanks, JD. I think one place to start is to strengthen the church membership process upfront.
Thanks for the post. I think that an undisciplined life in general not necessarily overt sin prevents some leaders from disciplining church members. They may also see discipline as punitive rather than redemptive. The Lord disciplines those He loves is a hard verse for some to figure out. The goal of church discipline is always to restore, not punish. Unfortunately many do not know difference between correct church discipline and administering their own brand of legalism.
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You are spot on for many of the reasons. Discipline is merely a aid in growing. Hebrews When I return to churches where we have practiced biblical discipline the first persons to come and hug my neck are often the ones who went through discipline. Their marriages were saved in several cases. I have experienced several situations where the discipline was not appreciated and the offended person left the church and continued on hopping from church to church. They are no longer my responsibility. I hope to create a loving and authentic environment where sin is continually being wrestled with and people are continually growing.
However, when a situation becomes obvious and public God has given clear instruction about a leaders responsibility. Loving discipline is a demonstration of sacrificial love. It is risky, messy and hard. I remind people that God loves them so much that He has asked me to demonstrate my love for them by moving into a mine field of potential misunderstandings and controversy to rescue them from the consequences of their sin. Whoever the Lord loves He disciplines.
Discipline is an act of love not punishment. Sorry for the rambling.
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You pushed a hot button with me on this blog. Thanks for your stirring up of the church and its leaders with your challenges. As someone who is now administering it for the first time, after many months of prayer, searching Scripture and seeking counsel from others experienced in administering CD, here is what I have learned so far: 1. Scripture must be followed in carrying out CD…especially Matthew Be aware of the reality that our own flesh will have the tendency to rear its ugly head in our own lives as we administer CD.
Humble yourself under God and before men…entrusting yourself to the Righteous judge. What God knows about you is more important than what others think about you. Church leaders and laity must. You make some good points. Private sins have a way of becoming public. After all, God is not mocked. Once the sin becomes public, then the church has a duty to deal with it. Hooray for Christianity!! I have been on the mission field since We have practiced church discipline on numerous occasions. It is very tough to do.
The pastor warned the sinning parties to repent. If they did not repent, the pastor would inform other churches. He did just that and yet other churches welcomed the disciplined into their congregation, only to deal with the same issue later on. One time we publicly rebuked our assistant pastor for immorality and kept him under watch care for two years. We laid hands on him and prayed for him. Though he is not a full time minister now, he is a valuable asset to his church. I tracked him down figuratively and called him to confess and repent of my sin and to ask him if there was any other way in which I had sinned against him of which I had no knowledge.
I wept as I was broken because of my sin against him. We were reconciled over the phone which allowed us to truly embrace each other about a year later when we both attended a funeral. The joy, release and cleansing of heart, mind and soul is inexpressible. It is this personal experience of confession, repentance, reconciliation and victory that encourages me to pursue reconciliation through Biblical CD. Years later, along comes the Inquisitor who offers a glib apology.
New International Version If you suffer, it should not be as a murderer or thief or any other kind of criminal, or even as a meddler. Berean Literal Bible For let not any of you suffer as a murderer, or a thief, or an evildoer, or as a troublesome meddler,. International Standard Version Of course, none of you should suffer for being a murderer, thief, criminal, or troublemaker.
Physician, heal thyself. I was very interested in reading this timely article. However, I would have enjoyed it more if the author had pointed to the very scripture passages that command church discipline. Jesus Christ actually teaches church discipline in Matthew , which one can understand as a command. It is not optional for a church. Galatians also calls each believer to be an actual participant in one-on-one discipleship and discipline of other believers.
Once again, this is not optional and we should grow to be comfortable to confront those whom are observed in a trespass. I am thankful that I am a member of a church that actively deploys church discipline. We learn that the grace of the confrontation process results most often in repentance rather than dis-fellowship.
To love one another, we are called to speak truth into their lives in the form of exhortation, encouragement, and admonishment. One note, I am not a spokesperson for GIBC, only an active member, so please contact them directly, if you have any specific questions about church discipline and the manners in which it is practiced. I love how we organically include discipline on our discipleship relationships. Churches which encourage personal discipleship often have the most robust teaching on church discipline. Furthermore, I have found that if a church has solid church membership practices, they do not run into difficulty in discipline, because the member has signed a doctrinal adherence statement when they became a member.
BOY was that a fail!! We recently left a church that has not practiced discipline in a very long time. Many in leadership positions have issues in their own families that they are dealing with and we have a group that has been in power for over 20 years that has been known to drive pastors out that rock the boat. I affirm that church discipline should be incorporated properly in todays church regardless of cultural popularity. However, I would like to first consider the structure of our local church and how it is actually functioning in response to the great commission.
We are called to make disciples! Some just call a weekly sermon and an occasional meal together discipleship. Discipleship is deeper and more engrossed. That may be true. How does one even look for how the church does discipline? Shunning is prescribed rarely in Scripture Romans , 1 Corinthians , Titus Honestly, if a church uses shunning as a discipline, I would run. It would require the church to have such humility and such wisdom. Who is able, over months or years, to do it with a pure heart?
Jesus taught on discipline in the church in Matthew Think about it. Personally, I feel that number 8 is a much more frequent reason than any of the others whether we like to admit it or not. I also have seen that many churches that do practice church discipline, do so selectively. Just my thoughts. Great posts by everyone! One thing that crossed my mind while reading is the idea that somehow we cannot administer CD until we can do it perfectly.
Even our parenting is done imperfectly. However, our shortcomings in all these areas do not keep us from engaging in them.